Defining Self through Self-Reflection & Through Inquiry of Others

One of the top family business consultants (Founder of Dialogue Solutions , Inc.) in the country, and Author of Exit Right, (Mark N. Voeller, Ph.D.) for succession, governance & conflict management just wrote this blog on The Power of WHO.

A 3rd gen family member, with whom I consult, recently expressed his enthusiasm about a book entitled The Power of WHO. At first I was puzzled since the focus appeared to be about using your network of close friends to secure a job. The author’s initial premise (the people who know you and like you are much more likely to help you than some acquaintance separated by more than three-degrees-of-separation) seemed obvious if not simplistic. However, as I read on, it became clear that the author’s premise was much deeper and therefore so meaningful for my client.

Bob Beaudine, the author, drives the reader to consider more carefully:

• Our view of ourselves
• Our view of our relationships
• And our approach to pursuing satisfaction

The book is about building genuine relationships and asking those who are already in our cheering squad for help identifying our strengths and passions. Without resorting to psycho-babble, Beaudine outlines a process for defining self through self-reflection and through inquiry of others.

I simplistically reduce much of what is written about self-esteem to the premise that the more effectively I can identify and accept my own point of view, preferences, emotional responses, and personal strengths / limitations, the greater my comfort with self. The greater my self-acceptance, the greater my sense of self – my self-esteem. Beaudine effectively encourages his readers to accept their own “Who” by being open and fully honest with those “Who” know them best.

He points out that whether we are discussing losing a job or some other awkward moment in our lives, "...you don't feel comfortable talking to your friends and telling anyone about this. So you slide to a bunker alone." Effectively, we cut ourselves off from those who best know us and our potential. The antidote, according to Beaudine, is to turn to those who know us, and who we really are, and to focus on who we ultimately want to be.

Part of his prescription for pursuing who we ultimately want to be involves:

• Seeking feedback from those friends who know us so intimately.
• It follows that in order to have those 3 close friends, we have to reveal and confide in 3 friends.
• The balance of his prescription involves hearing and replacing the negative self-talk that scurries around our brain.
• Alternatively Beaudine prescribes the use of a positive thinking process – a conscious effort to reaffirm our goals and the gifts that we uniquely possess which will help us achieve those goals.
  

If you pick up this little book, I encourage you not to be put off by the first couple of chapters. I must say that I initially found the first couple of chapters a little boring and repetitive. Beaudine’s excessive use of “who” caused me to reflect on the style used so effectively by Dr. Seuss. However, once past that hurdle and upon appreciating the larger message, I believe you will find that the author offers foundational principles that are easily understood. His enthusiasm and warmly presented stories bring these key concepts to life. You and your clients will remember his stories long after the book is returned to the shelf.

Unleash The Power of WHO in your friends & family’s lives today!
http://twitter.com/yougotwho
www.linkedin.com/in/bobwho
www.myspace.com/bobbeaudine
http://www.facebook.com/yougotwho?ref=profile

The Power of Forgetfulness

"Inside each and every one of us is 'One True Authentic Swing,' something we was born with. Something that’s ours and ours alone. Something that can’t be taught to you or learned. Something that’s got to be Remembered..."
—STEVEN PRESSFIELD, The Legend of Bagger Vance



There is ONE unseen "Power" that's Kicking our Butts in the area of our Dreams & Goals! It operates below the surface of our conscious awareness but with such profound force that it must be considered one of the Supreme Concealments of all time. What am I talking about??

The “Power of Forgetfulness.”

This Insidious "Power" can secretly overtake our thoughts and emotions like a giant glacier silently advancing through a canyon. The “Power of Forgetfulness” can be all-encompassing as in people with Alzheimer’s disease or other kinds of dementia. Or, it can be as benign as not remembering where you left your keys. In its more subtle and dangerous forms, however, it can undermine your dreams and professional life in often... devastating ways.

I got a call from a friend, who said to me he had been let go from his company after 15 years. He was shocked! I told him; "Congratulations! This is the greatest day of your life!" He said: "What?" I reminded him; "You hated that job! You got divorced in that job! You forgot who you were in that job! Isn't it time to do what you love???

Today, doing what you “love” is one of the most essential components of finding your Dream. One of the great disconnects of life, a truly monumental error that people commonly make, is not allowing love to direct their course. Why? Because they don’t know their own hearts, so they distrust themselves and their natural instincts. When you allow yourself to be so programmed by the culture you’re in that you become disconnected from your own heart, you’re in major trouble. You render yourself unable to make decisions about what's best for your life and the lives of those you love. The real danger here is that you'll begin to follow somebody else’s idea of success and fulfillment. You Forget “Who” and “What” You are. You attempt to become someone or something else for which you're ill suited, and there are Several Possible Reasons for this:

1. You Want to Be Somebody Else.
   A person may admire someone for their achievements in life and want to be like them. But they don’t possess that person’s level of talent, skill, or charisma. Unfortunately, a lot of people live in their own fantasy world, falsely believing they do have what it takes. This is a Big Mistake and a huge time waster.
2. You Need the Money!
   I believe that working to pay the bills is one of the most common causes in Forgetting your dream. So many people are just too tired at the end of the day to work on or even think about their dream. Too bad. Turn off the damn TV! The TV will suck your dream right into the black hole of oblivion. Refuse to veg—unless, of course, your dream is to become a vegetable.
3. Somebody Else Told You What to Do-
   They allowed a parent, teacher, preacher, or some other authority figure to manufacture what they thought was a good identity for them. All of us need wise counselors and good guidance, but only from those who have no other agenda except to help us discover and develop what we love and are well suited for.

Allowing someone else to remake you into their image will rob you of personal satisfaction, peace of mind, and contentment. Don’t allow anyone to derail you from your destiny. Why?

Let me Remind You...You’re a treasure chest filled with amazing talents, gifts, capabilities, dreams, aspirations, originality, passion, power, encouragement, and joy. You've been designed for maximum performance. You can choose to turn off that negative self-talk and choose, instead, to think positive, creative, life-giving thoughts. Or, you can let the tormenting self-talk have its way with you. It’s up to you. You get to choose.

Unleash The Power of WHO in your friends & family’s lives today!http://twitter.com/yougotwho
www.linkedin.com/in/bobwho
www.myspace.com/bobbeaudine
http://www.facebook.com/yougotwho?ref=profile

You'll Change Inside, When You Realize-You Got WHO!

I Love this simple & powerful message from Demi Lovato's amazing song- The Gift of a Friend!

"You'll Change Inside, When You Realize
The World comes to Life, and Everythings Bright,
From beginning to end, when you have a Friend by your side
That helps you to find, The beauty You Are
When you open your heart and believe in... The Gift of a Friend."

Having a true friend (a Who Friend) in our life is a GameChanger. A friend not only makes life more fun but can make even the most mind-numbing and boring of events enjoyable. Do you have that in your life? Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "The only way to have a friend is to be one!"

I wrote 12 guidleines for True Friendship- See How you rate yourself as a friend as well as those you you associate with today. (Check it out-they're free)

Unleash The Power of WHO in your friends & family’s lives today!

http://twitter.com/yougotwho
www.linkedin.com/in/bobwho
www.myspace.com/bobbeaudine
http://www.facebook.com/yougotwho?ref=profile

This Event was One of those "Life-Changing Moments"

By zoe.tennesen
Published on September 03, 2009

At the risk of sounding melodramatic, this event was one of those life-changing moment kinds of things. Their office was abuzz with excitement and spilling over with people, mostly in suits, laughing and enjoying wine and hors d’oeuvres delivered by waiters strolling by in penguin suits. It was a much-anticipated shindig that Elizabeth, Emily, KyLea and I were excited about attending, to be sure. The host, Viverae, a corporate wellness programs provider, spared no expense, and the scene was set for a magnificent night.

We mingled ‘til we tingled. Just when I thought the night couldn’t get any better (I’m a sucker for pot stickers and chardonnay), they introduced their guest speaker. It was Bob Beaudine, nationally acclaimed motivational keynote, top executive sports recruiter, and author of “The Power of Who”. Through a series of entertaining stories and morsels of real-life truths, he gave us a taste of the book – and I couldn’t wait to get home with my autographed copy and chew on the meat.

I had to chew slowly. It’s not like Twilight, where you can burn through three chapters during a commercial break. It’s one of those things you have to take in slowly to experience its full power, like a burning red sunset on a secluded beach. But if you do that, the payoff is big.

I’ve gotten so much mileage out of this book that it’s literally transformed my thinking and approach to nearly every relationship in my life. We’re talking paradigm-shifting and all kinds of woah moments. If you don’t believe me, just look at my book – it’s full of ketchup stains from reading it at lunch, water stains from reading in the pool, half a highlighter’s ink worth of goodness called out, and about twenty dog-eared pages. (Bob – can I have a fresh copy?)

Here are just a few of the golden nuggets I culled from his pages (mostly paraphrased, so don’t be underwhelmed. It’s really much, much better):

• Each of us has an assignment, a purpose, and a dream all our own that we need to discover or rediscover. Pursue this dream fearlessly. Go back to childhood or pay attention to where your mind leads you during the day. What are you passionate about that you forgot along the way while trying to survive?

• How do you accomplish this dream? Forget networking – you already know everyone you need to know. Who are these people? They are your friends, and just as you would do anything for them (I literally scaled a wall once to help my friend get some moving boxes from a dumpster!), they will bend over backwards for you.

• When searching for something, your friends are much more likely than strangers to help you out… but you have to ask! Share your vision with your friends. You’ll be amazed at what pops up and who they know. One phone call to a friend, and you’re on your way!

• Expect opposition. Beaudine states, “There are many more paths that lead to failure than there are that lead to success.” It’s a lot easier to go the way most traveled, but not always the best way for you. If inventing the light bulb were an easy task, it would have been done on the ark. But it took persistence by someone with a vision and a dream to make it happen. Sure, Edison encountered opposition from people who told him it couldn’t be done. That’s what makes his invention so much more appreciable.

• Don’t be scared of the unknown. It’s a beautiful open field full of buried gold. Dance around in it in until you find it.

So what’s my dream? It’s still in the making, and I say that because I consider myself one of the fortunate few who is already living it, for the most part. I get to create stuff and dream up ideas and ads and taglines, and as long as I get to be creative I’m happy. But it’s definitely given me a clarity of vision about my goals for the future, and has imparted in me an urgent desire to foster friendships that I candidly have not taken care with. People are the most important and valuable assets any of us have – whether on a personal level or professional. So cultivating these relationships is not something we can afford to push aside.

I think this book will do amazing things for anyone who reads it – especially if you’re willing to do the hard soul-searching stuff. It pays off tremendously.

And next time you’re stuck at a dead end – whether laid off of your job, struggling with physical challenges, or searching to find your purpose on earth – just remember, you’re not alone. You Got Who!

Featured in American Way Magazine

If you are flying on American Airlines this month (September), open an American Way Magazine and read about Bob Beaudine and The Power of WHO! on pg.36!